Blurry

I feel like I’m drowning, so slow.  I feel the water fill my lungs.  And your eyes just stare down at me.  Blurry through the water, I make out your smile.  Like you enjoy the pain inflicted.  You hold me down, hands across my throat but I don’t scream out because I agreed to this; signed a waiver.  The kind you pretend to skim all the way to the bottom before signing.  What can you do? It’s her life.  She sees the world through jaded eyes, as if hunched from old age.  She sees a bat in the distance and it must be a sign, all black and outright.  But she knows better, she’s seen a lot in her life.  “You remember”, she blurted as I fumbled for words.  I look over and I’m transfixed with the single blemish on her table, like nature’s last rebellion before being cut down and whittled into a tabletop.  I had some things to say to you but I don’t give a fuck anymore.  You yell and scream and I block it out, going deep inside where there is nothing but me and my music.  Almost as if in a movie, you raise your head high, willing yourself to not care.