Anxiety

I scratch at it, this nervous energy.  I try to cut it out.  I imagine running.  Throwing my hands up, screaming and crying, I run out of the store.  My feet hit the pavement.  Right, then left.  Just keep running.  Twigs underfoot scream out, turning to powder under my weight.  I run through bushes, between trees.  Arms out, balancing me as I run into the forest.  I hit the forest floor, on hands and knees.  I curl into a ball and cry, screaming.  This is how I feel when I’m anxious.  The need to escape is visceral.  I hold myself back normally.  Foot tapping, mind whirling until I feel like it’s impossible - I might burst.  All this energy is bound to burn.  So I light a match.  Watching my life pass, I drop it and flames begin to roar, licking at the air above.  I watch as it burns, bright and clean, erasing the past.  But what about the fire calls to me, whispering my name.