Frown

The corners of her mouth turned down as I spoke, turning into a slightly crooked frown.  The words trickled out of my lips and I sat, shaking, waiting for the end of the sentence to come.  She breathed heavily, looking down at her fingers.  Then she raised her head slightly and spoke, soft and distant, like she was speaking to a child who just asked why the sky is blue.  “I don’t understand”, she said after a long pause.  I cleared my throat and began again.  This time she stared into my eyes as if searching for more of an explanation.  Her ears perked up, listening to every syllable.  She slowly nodded in some sort of agreement, half-assed and forced, like she was agreeing to a life sentence of being alone.  My hand moved to my mouth, biting at my fingers.  Nerves rose in my throat, a giant knot of phlegm and tears, choked back behind my eyes.  Her face fell, skin falling out of place and tiny droplets fell to the floor in front of her as she bent over, wincing, as if my words caused her physical pain.  I slowly straightened my legs to lift my body off the couch.  I began to retreat, making up reasons I had to escape the situation.  Her hand offered solace as she reached out in my direction,  I grabbed it softly, letting her fingers twine into mine.  Her hand was warm and clammy, as if her tears were beginning to leak from all of her pores, too much to hold in.  My eyes fell to my feet and I began to turn, as slowly as humanly possible.  My heels followed suit and I began to put one leg in front of the other until I reached the door, big and heavy creating a dark shadow on the room.  My hand moved up to the doorknob and I tried to avoid looking back.  I felt her eyes on the back of my skull, willing me to turn back, begging on my knees for her hand in mine.  The door creaked as it opened, as if rejecting the idea of my exit.  My body passed through the threshold, wind at my side.  I closed the door behind me and began to walk down the street, leaves crumbling under my feet as they drag, walking slowly and with no destination.